The Art of Simply Being: How to Exist

For those who consider themselves true thrill-seekers, I have a challenge. Try to sit perfectly still for exactly three minutes while adhering to these two strict guidelines:

1. Perform zero actions. This means no physical movement, no fidgeting, and no mental wandering or daydreaming.
2. Maintain contentment. You must be entirely okay with the sensation of doing absolutely nothing.

Do not attempt to alter your state, and do not let impatience take root.

The Paradox of Stillness

It is surprisingly grueling to do nothing, and even more difficult to feel peaceful while doing so. We are plagued by an intense drive to do something—whether it's scanning the room, replaying an old argument, feeling our teeth with our tongues, or wiggling a toe.

When you strip away all activity and simply exist, the sensation can be so intense it almost feels like death. It is a startling realization to discover, after years of living, that the raw act of existence is actually quite heavy to carry.

It seems we can only tolerate the present moment if we are actively trying to $\text{transform it} \rightarrow \text{something else}$.

We are essentially allergic to our natural habitat: the present moment.

To manage this "allergy," we spend our lives in a perpetual hunt for experiences and emotions that aren't currently happening.

You might believe you've escaped this cycle when you finally achieve a goal. For instance, imagine you are finally eating that cookie-dough ice cream flurry you've craved all day. If you observe yourself closely, you'll find that even in that moment of pleasure, you are already trying to move past it.

The Mechanics of Escape

This fundamental human struggle is invisible because our entire lifestyle is a coping mechanism. Much of our ambition is actually a flight from the experience of being here.

Consider the reflexive urge to take a sip of your drink the moment a conversation lulls at a party, or the lightning speed with which you pull out your phone during a brief wait.

The desperation to escape stillness can reach extreme levels. In North America, roughly 100 firefighters are convicted of arson annually. Often, these are young recruits who are so frustrated by a lack of action that they create the disaster just to have something to do.

Furthermore, a 2014 study on inactivity revealed a shocking trend:

Across 11 studies, participants generally disliked spending 6 to 15 minutes alone in a room with only their thoughts. They preferred mundane tasks over stillness, and many actually preferred administering electric shocks to themselves rather than being left alone with their own minds.

Even our internal dialogue is often a disguise. Rumination is rarely about solving a problem; it is a mental detour used to flee anxiety and uncertainty.

Training Your Ability to Exist

You can cure this allergy by practicing existence in small, manageable doses. The goal is to exist for a few seconds without trying to change the internal weather.

The Basic Protocol:

• Sit still.
• Do nothing.
• Observe the "weird" or "unsettled" feeling that arises.
• Embrace that feeling without squirming.

To avoid being overwhelmed, use your breath as a timer.

Warning: If you have PTSD or a psychiatric disorder, please consult a professional before attempting this.

Step-by-Step Implementation

• Phase 1: The Inhale

  • Relax your body completely.
  • Breathe in slowly.
  • Open yourself to every sensation: $\text{tingling} + \text{doubt} + \text{unsettledness}$.
  • Let the experience wash over you like a wave for the duration of the breath.
  • Do not analyze it. Just let it happen.

• Phase 2: The Exhale

  • Once the inhale feels manageable, repeat the process during the outbreath.
  • Stay open and relaxed until the breath is gone.
  • If you tense up or get distracted, simply restart.

• Phase 3: The Cycle

  • String the inhale and exhale together.
  • Maintain a non-defensive state throughout the entire breathing loop.

Start with five-minute sessions. Gradually increase the duration and decrease the gaps between your periods of "pure existence."

def practice_existence(duration_minutes):
    while time_elapsed < duration_minutes:
        inhale(embrace_all_feelings=True)
        exhale(embrace_all_feelings=True)
        if feeling == "frazzled":
            reset_and_relax()

The Result

This is a form of meditation, though that word often makes people overthink it. Simply view it as existing without fear.

By reducing your allergy to the present, life becomes significantly more tolerable. The frictions of daily life—waiting in line, feeling a bit too cold, or facing uncertainty—stop being crises and start being simple experiences.