Help Wanted

✉️ An Open Letter to the "Users"

I would like to offer my sincerest, most heartfelt apologies that the software I painstakingly developed and released for free—completely devoid of any explicit or implied warranties—has failed to live up to your lofty standards.

To be crystal clear: I am not switching my license from AGPLv3-or-later to MIT.

"But this impacts my ability to integrate your package into my commercial product!"

I truly couldn't care less about your "impact" or my "reach." If you're unhappy, please, feel free to un-star the repository.

🛠️ The "Contribution" Nightmare

Someone recently submitted a Pull Request. I actually read the entire 3,700-word description (I must admit, the bolding and bullet points were a nice touch), and for reasons I cannot explain, I even looked at the commits.

The commits claim to be co-authored by Claude. Honestly, looking at the quality of the code, I think the LLM deserves 100% of the credit.

Current Project Status:

Disable PRs for the general public.
Find more contributors who aren't me.
Maintain the "Approved List."

The Approved Contributor List:

Me.
Kyla (who doesn't actually write code).

I am well aware that other projects have implemented the features currently sitting in my backlog. However, if you prefer to rely on developers with zero taste in software architecture, you are more than welcome to use their tools instead of mine.

The Plan 9 Philosophy

We support Plan 9. Why? Because I once consumed some mushrooms Kyla gave me for my birthday and had a spiritual epiphany:

$\text{Plan 9} + \text{Mushrooms} = \text{Universal Healing}$

Platform	Hosting	Star Value
The "Other" Project	GitHub	$1 \text{ star} = 1 \text{ star}$
My Project	Codeberg	$1 \text{ star} = 100 \text{ GitHub stars}$

🤖 The Rise of the "Vibe-Rewrite"

I was thrilled to learn that someone has "vibe-rewritten" my entire project simultaneously in:

Go
Rust
Swift
Kotlin

Their README is a masterpiece of visual effects and features a real-time graph showing about 21 PRs being merged daily. I genuinely wish I were their credit card—I've never seen anyone get used that hard in my life. It's a digital ecosystem where one LLM merges a PR and sends a $\text{🙏}$ emoji to the LLM that reviewed it.

The Corporate Backing:

Platinum Sponsor: A trendy neo-bank.
Gold Sponsors: Three different online gambling sites.

I do this for the love of computing and the desire to improve the world. Not for people who use the phrase "agentic development lifecycle" without irony. If there were a legal, OSI-compliant way to ban you from using any code ever written, I would sign it in blood. My commitment to Open Source is the only thing stopping me from expressing my visceral hatred for you.

🇪🇺 The Codeberg Struggle

Codeberg has new guidelines requiring projects to have a "European basis." I responded with a short essay:

Europe is not a geographic coordinate; it is an idea. 
Ideas possess no borders. 
Also, I once had incredible fries while biking through Brussels.

If you know any EU residents willing to pretend to contribute to my project, please send them my way.

The Funding Quest

I asked ChatGPT to help me find US-based grants. Every single link was dead. Some .gov links simply displayed a picture of a Shiba Inu with the text: "You tried to seek government funding. This incident will be reported."

ChatGPT told me my project is "amazing" and "urgent." I'd try the paid version of the AI, but they don't accept payment in stars. ~~I am now offering negotiable commercial licenses—~~ Wait, is anyone even listening?

🌸 The Legend of Purple Peony

I am not a "supply chain." We do not host bindings on npm or crates.io. However, running git blame reminds me of Purple Peony.

Purple Peony was the gold standard of contributors:

Polite and friendly.
Eight months of high-quality commits.
Optimized the code for RISC-V.

Let me tell you: our code absolutely flies on RISC-V under Plan 9. Who cares about Windows? We have the future. Those other developers can only dream. I remember feeling such a deep, cosmic connection to Purple Peony... though that might have been another batch of Kyla's mushrooms.

📉 The Current Collapse

Here is the current state of my mental health and the project:

Please refer to SECURITY.md. All vulnerability reports from "Agentic Security Harnesses" should be sent directly to sama@openai.com and damodei@anthropic.com.

I need to find Kyla. Dependabot is losing its mind, my face is on a CVE page (and it's a terrible photo), and Purple Peony has hijacked the project because I "apparently" asked them to take over. The LLM-run project is now merging their patches, and the corporate guys just got their grant. They even thanked me for being an "early inspiration."

Signed-off-by: Lake Hope iloveopensource@lake.computer I am still looking for work.