Crime Pays but Botany Doesn't
Crime Pays but Botany Doesn't
So, You've Decided to Teach Yourself Botany...
I get a ton of messages from people who are genuinely eager to dive into botany but have absolutely no clue where the fuck to start when it comes to identifying plants and understanding the science behind them.
The field is notorious for being gatekept by intimidating terminology and a certain brand of "powdery stiff" academic energy that can alienate the average person.
Pro Tip: If you encounter a concept that makes zero sense—for example, if you're wondering "what the shit does ‘monophyletic’ mean and why does it matter?"—don't let it stop you. Identify exactly what is confusing you and just ask Google.
That said, there are a few foundational pillars you need to grasp to make the learning curve less steep.
The Logic of Taxonomy
We owe our current system to a guy named Linnaeus, who realized that scientists across different cultures needed a universal language. Now, let's be real: at the time, he was mostly thinking about "white European cultures." While we can acknowledge that this perspective was narrow and perfectly fine completely flawed by modern standards, we shouldn't "throw the baby out with the bathwater."
I mention this because some "performative leftist" types have recently tried to attack the entire science of taxonomy based on its origins. That's nonsense.
Why Scientific Names Matter
Common names are a disaster. A single term like "cedar" might refer to eight entirely different plants. Scientific nomenclature solves this.
| Name Type | Example | Precision | Note |
|---|---|---|---|
| Common | Cedar | Low | Could be many unrelated species |
| Scientific | Cedrus | High | Refers specifically to the genus |
The Rules of Nomenclature:
- The Genus is always capitalized.
- The species is always lowercase.
- The entire name is typically italicized.
If you write Cedrus Atlantica, you are screaming to the world that you don't know what the fuck you are doing. I was corrected on this over a decade ago, and I now happily correct others. It's a courtesy—like telling someone they have a booger on their face.
The Power of Phylogeny
Is there a logic to how plants are grouped? Yes, and it is so FUCKING cool.
Modern botany groups plants based on evolutionary relationships. By understanding the traits that unite a specific tribe, genus, or family, you can identify a plant you've never seen before simply by recognizing its evolutionary markers.
This is how I can encounter a totally new species and immediately deduce its family or genus, allowing me to find it quickly using a flora key or the "explore" feature on iNaturalist.
In mathematical terms, we are looking for a set of shared derived characters, or synapomorphies:
The Essential Reading List
The "Deep Dive" Textbooks
- Plant Systematics by Michael Simpson This is the gold standard. It focuses on plant evolution and identification through the lens of synapomorphies. Simpson explains how botanists grouped plants before DNA sequencing and where those early assumptions were wrong. It's a family-by-family guide to morphology. The 3rd edition is the current version; it's a reference book you'll use for a decade.
- Raven's Biology of Plants This covers the fundamental biology and the nuances of evolution. It provides great examples of "charismatic" species and explains how selection pressures create the "endless forms most beautiful" that drove Darwin wild.
Accessing Information on a Budget
Self-education is expensive. I believe most authors (unless they're dicks) wouldn't want cost to be a barrier to knowledge. This is why sites like www.libgen.is and www.sci-hub.se exist.
My recommendation for the budget student:
- Buy a cheap Android tablet.
- Download textbooks in PDF format.
- Enjoy having 500,000+ pages of knowledge in a half-pound device.
Additional Recommended Texts
[Phylogeny & Evolution] -> Pam and Doug Soltis: Phylogeny and Evolution of the Angiosperms
[Pop-Science] -> David Quammen: The Tangled Tree (Molecular phylogenetics)
[History of Life] -> Karl Niklas: Plant Evolution
[Visual Guide] -> Janice Glimm-Lacy: Botany Illustrated
[Geology] -> John Macphee: Annals of the Former World
[Gardening Focus] -> Brian Capon: Botany for Gardeners
[Ecology] -> Jessica Gurevitch: The Ecology of Plants
[Terminology] -> Susan Pell: A Botanist’s Vocabulary
[Specialized] -> Peter Bernhardt: The Rose’s Kiss
[Family Guides] -> Wendy Zomlefer: Flowering Plant Families
[Earth History] -> Joseph Armstrong: How the Earth Turned Green
[Species Dynamics] -> Donald Levin: The Origin, Expansion, and Demise of Plant Species
[Seed Science] -> Michael Fenner: The Ecology of Seeds
[Mycology] -> Sarah Watkinson: The Fungi
[Biogeography] -> C. Barry Cox: Biogeography
[General Evolution] -> Carl Zimmer: Evolution Making Sense of Life
[Cacti] -> Cacti Biology and Uses
[Regional/CA] -> Elna Baker: An Island Called California
[Regional/CA] -> Earl Alexander: Serpentine Geoecology of Western North America
[Regional/CA] -> Allan Schoenherr: A Natural History of California
[Desert Systems] -> Whitford: Ecology of Desert Systems
[Desert Systems] -> Bruce Pavlik: The California Deserts