50,000 Boat Names

By Jon Keegan | August 10, 2026 | 9 min read

From the suggestive SEA SLUT II to the literary BILBOAT BAGGINS, a deep dive into AIS vessel data reveals a treasure trove of 50,000 boat names. This collection is a chaotic mix of nautical puns, adult humor, and deep-cut references to J.R.R. Tolkien.

The Human Element in Big Data

When scouring through massive government datasets, I am constantly searching for those rare moments where individual personality breaks through the sterile numbers.

"These tiny expressions of creativity show up all over public datasets."

We see this everywhere:

• Air traffic controllers inventing whimsical names for navigation waypoints.
• The "hall of shame" found in rejected vanity license plate applications.
• The trends in dog naming found in municipal licensing records.
• The Social Security Administration's lists of the most popular baby names.

Recently, I analyzed several years of vessel traffic data from NOAA, extracting a sample of over 50,000 names broadcast via Automatic Identification System (AIS) transmitters. While these transmitters are standard on commercial and larger ships, the names they broadcast provide a fascinating window into the owners' lives, careers, and sense of humor.

How the Data Works

Most commercial ships $\ge 65$ feet are legally required to use AIS to broadcast their identity and location. However, many recreational boaters choose to do so voluntarily.

The data comes from NOAA’s Marine Cadastre broadcast points. It is important to note that this is a comprehensive government registry not a complete list of every boat name in existence; it only includes vessels that transmitted within range of NOAA stations.

The Breakdown

Out of approximately 150,000 unique vessels sampled, only about 50,000 actually had names assigned.

According to a 2018 US Coast Guard survey, roughly $12\%$ of US households (about 14.5 million) own or co-own a recreational boat. The demographics of this group are skewed: $82.9\%$ identify as white, while only $0.8\%$ identify as Black or African American.

Maintaining a boat is a costly endeavor, with annual expenses typically falling between: $\text{Annual Cost} \approx \$15,000 \text{ to } \$40,000$

Categorizing the Creativity

The names generally fall into several distinct "vibes" based on the owner's profession or interests.

💰 The High-Finance Fleet

Hedge fund managers and traders love a good money pun:

• LIQUID ASSETS
• BLUE CHIP III
• PORT FOLIO
• TRADE DESK
• RISK & REWARD
• MUTUAL FUN
• 401(PLAY)

⚖️ The Legal Eagles

Lawyers and judges bring their courtroom terminology to the coast:

• LAW DAWG
• PRO BONO
• MOTION GRANTED
• CASE CLOSED
• OVERRULED
• TESTIMONY
• NAUT2GUILTY
• DUE DILIGENCE

🩺 The Medical Marines

From surgeons to neurologists, the medical community is well-represented:

• Symbols: The CADUCEUS (though the Rod of ASCLEPIUS is the true medical symbol).
• Neurology/Chemistry: SPIKE AND WAVE, SEROTONIN, and ENDORFIN.
• General: DOC ON THE BAY and DOCTOR’S ORDERS.

🔞 The "Nauti" Side

Nautical wordplay often veers into the suggestive:

• NAUTI-BOY & GET KNOTTY
• HOOTER PATROL III, FRISKY LADY, & THICK CHICK
• AFTERNOON DELIGHT
• WET DREAM, WETTER THE BETTER, & WET TUSH

📚 The Literary & Mythological

Some owners prefer a more intellectual approach:

• Classics: SANTIAGO (Hemingway), GOOD OL SANCHO (Cervantes), TOM SAWYER and HUCK FINN II (Twain).
• Thriller/Epic: RED OCTOBER (Clancy), MARLEY'S GHOST (Dickens), GRENDEL (Beowulf), TIMSHEL (Steinbeck), ONEGIN (Pushkin), and PRYDWEN (Arthurian legend).

The Tolkien Corner: As a fan of Middle-earth, I found plenty of gems:

• GANDALF (also known as MITHRANDIR) and his steed SHADOWFAX.
• Elven influences: LADY GALADRIEL II, RIVENDELL, ARWEN, and IDRIL.
• The Shire's finest: BILBOAT BAGGINS and his PRECIOUS.

🎬 The Silver Screen

Cinema provides endless inspiration for vessel naming:

• NOSTROMO (Alien)
• BELAFONTE (The Life Aquatic)
• BLACK PEARL (Pirates of the Caribbean)
• A BIGGER BOAT (Jaws)
• DAS BOOT (Das Boot)

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