Bob and Van

Author Profile: Marco Arment — A polymath specializing in programming, writing, podcasting, geek culture, and the art of coffee.

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Memories of Suburban Ohio

During the first few years of my childhood in suburban Ohio, our lives were intertwined with a neighbor named Bob.

Bob and his spouse were a quiet, benevolent older couple. Their home was a sanctuary of faith, heavily adorned with crucifixes and filled with frequent discussions regarding Jesus. Following the passing of my father, Bob became a pillar of support for my mother, assisting her with various domestic chores.

One particular memory stands out: when my mother discovered a small blaze on our deck, her first instinct wasn't to dial emergency services—she called Bob.

The Neighbors at a Glance

I never actually knew Bob's political leanings, though looking back, I could probably make an educated guess.

Then there was Van. He was the quintessential neighbor: incredibly kind and welcoming. During my less-motivated teenage years, Van would often take it upon himself to mow our grass or clear the snow from our driveway before I had even woken up. As he grew older and his mobility decreased, I felt it was a privilege to return those favors.

Van and his lovely wife passed away years ago. Like Bob, I never learned where they stood on the political spectrum before they left us.

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The Modern Dilemma

This brings me to a broader reflection on our current social climate.

If I were to discover today that my neighbors hold political beliefs that my "side" deems acceptable unforgivable and abhorrent, should that preclude me from sharing a meal at their table, helping them with snow removal, or simply offering a friendly greeting?

I find myself questioning the current social mandates:

• Should I be cast out for associating with them in a non-political capacity?
• Should I be vilified for failing to publicly denounce them?

While I acknowledge that $\text{Power Dynamics} + \text{Privilege} = \text{Complexity}$, I have no desire to belong to a community that demands such rigid purity.

The Logic of Connection

function evaluateRelationship(person) {
  if (person.isKind && person.isHelpful) {
    return "Maintain Neighborhood Bond";
  } else if (person.politicalViews === "Opposing") {
    return "Still be a decent human";
  }
}

A Longing for Simplicity

I can't shake the feeling that we were more content $\text{before}$ we were privy to everyone's "hot takes" on every conceivable issue.

We used to exist in a world where:

1. We didn't boycott businesses because an owner was a jerk.
2. We didn't demand that every acquaintance take a stance on the world's most intricate geopolitical conflicts.
3. We could simply discuss the weather or the latest TV shows, and perhaps share a beer after a long workday.

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Footnotes & Fragments:

• That was the specific moment I first encountered the word SHIT!.
• Somewhere on Bob's wall, there might have been a quote from a political dissident regarding the wisdom of not casting the first stone.