Employment Loss and the Cortisone Surge

By Til Schünemann

On the morning of August 18th, I received an abrupt invitation to a 1:1 meeting with my manager. This was highly atypical. While I suspected the outcome, my intuition was correct: the company was undergoing a restructuring, and I was among the many being employed let go.

I was granted until lunchtime to bid farewell to my coworkers before my digital access was revoked. Since I was still within my initial six-month probation, I received two weeks of paid leave. Following that, I faced my first period of unemployment in roughly a decade. Having witnessed this happen to others, I joked that I had finally become a true tech worker.

The Physical Collapse

Shortly after, my health plummeted. I suspect it was a Covid infection; while I lacked typical respiratory issues, I suffered from:

• Profound lethargy
• Joint inflammation
• A general sense of bodily stiffness

A cough developed which, even two months later, has not entirely vanished. Regardless of the primary cause, the illness triggered my existing autoimmune condition.

The Low Point

My existence shrank to a cycle of waking up, consuming short-form videos and movies, and returning to sleep. Any attempt at activity—such as biking into the city—resulted in a "brick wall" effect of exhaustion that lingered into the following day. I lost both my appetite and weight, a concerning development given my already lean frame and lack of movement.

This state persisted for three weeks until a specialist performed the necessary blood work and tests to calibrate my medication. The inability to perform even the most basic tasks was a deeply disheartening experience.

The Chemical Shift

I was prescribed a course of cortisone, which provided immediate relief. In essence, cortisone suppresses the immune response—a vital function when the body begins attacking itself. However, it is not a sustainable long-term solution due to various side effects.

Within a day or two, I felt like my old self again—energized and free of inflammation. This coincided with the realization that I was unemployed and had a void of time to fill purposefully.

"I found myself able to take a massive step back, viewing my life from a bird's-eye perspective. I am nearing 30, but I began to wonder: how will I exist when I am 40, 50, 60, or 70?"

While I cannot dictate destiny, I realized I could make daily, conscious choices to facilitate a positive transition. I began addressing the "tiny" irritants I had long ignored.

Completed Tasks:

• Paint over the unsightly mark on the wall
• Re-season the degraded cast-iron pan
• Organize general living space

The act of focusing on a goal and manifesting it in reality felt surreal. It mirrored a specific scene from the movie Limitless.

![Image: A conceptual representation of mental clarity and productivity]

The Cost of the High

The "mania" came with a price. I eventually noticed signs of intense restlessness. My heart would race $\text{HR} \uparrow$ even during periods of total inactivity. I channeled this frantic energy into projects and chores, which I actually enjoyed at the time.

Other side effects included:

1. Facial Swelling: My face became fuller (which, surprisingly, I found aesthetically pleasing).
2. Fragmented Sleep: Despite a strict routine (bed at 23:00–00:00, target wake-up at 08:00), I struggled to fall asleep and would wake up fully alert at 05:00 or 06:00.

def current_state(medication_level):
    if medication_level == "tapering":
        return "Side effects fading, improvements remaining"
    elif medication_level == "peak":
        return "High energy, racing heart, insomnia"
    else:
        return "Lethargy and inflammation"

As I taper off the cortisone, these side effects are disappearing. However, the tangible improvements I made to my environment and daily habits remain.

Perhaps this experience serves as a reminder to step back from your own life and evaluate your priorities. It is a rare mindset to achieve, but when I find it, I feel a sense of serenity and control.